Eliminate Meaningless Words
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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Employees who are driving to work should be encouraged to take mass transit. |
Employees should be encouraged to take mass transit. |
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In the interests of better meeting the needs of our customers, we have implemented an online ordering system. |
To meet customer needs, we have implemented an online ordering system. |
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There are a lot of members of our team who would like to move to short standing meetings. |
Many members of our team would like to move to short standing meetings. |
Replace Awkward Phrases with a Single Word
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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It would be appreciated if you would approve the contract by May 1. |
Please approve the contract by May 1. |
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Due to the fact that the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we will need to rethink our strategies for recruiting and hiring. |
Because the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we need to rethink our recruiting and hiring strategies. |
Take Out Intensifiers
Intensifiers, adverbs that convey an additional degree of emotional context, are often unnecessary to the meaning of the message or can be removed for concision.
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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I am really sorry about missing last week’s vital staff meeting. |
I apologize for missing last week’s staff meeting. |
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Very detailed-oriented and extremely productive staff have earned amazingly high bonuses this year. |
Detail-oriented and productive staff earned high bonuses this year. |
Remove Passive Constructions
Passive voice is a sentence construction where the object of the action acts as the subject of the sentence. For clarity and concision, use active voice.
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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The report was written by Zelda. |
Zelda wrote the report. |
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Taxes should be submitted by April 15. |
Submit taxes by April 15. |
Exception: When is passive voice appropriate? When you want to avoid assigning blame, and when you can create better flow within a paragraph by reordering a sentence to put the object before the subject.
Avoid Nominalizations
Nominalizations, or nouns derived from a verb or adjective, force you add another verb to create a complete sentence. Eliminating nominalizations can help with concision.
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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The building services committee raised an objection to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking. |
The building services committee objected to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking. |
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Once you have created documentation for the situation, we will make a decision about next steps. |
Once you have documented the situation, we will decide next steps. |
Eliminate Metadiscourse
Writing about your own writing or thought process, or metadiscourse, can almost always be deleted.
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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I would like to point out that it has become clear that we need to analyze this situation more fully in order to understand it. |
The situation requires further analysis. |
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I would like to thank you for… |
Thank you for… |
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Through our research we were able to find… |
We found… |
Avoid Stuffy Business Clichés
Old-fashioned business-ese takes away from a conversational tone and can add unnecessary wordiness.
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Instead of this |
Write this |
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Per your request,… |
As you requested,… |
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Please be advised that the procedure for leave reports has changed. |
We have changed the procedure for leave reports. |
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Attached please find… |
I have attached… The attachments include… |
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Thank you for your time and consideration. |
Thank you for [something specific that you appreciate] |
Content on this page was created by the Business Communication team at the Wisconsin School of Business.